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{ 2003 06 13 }

Metallica’s St. Anger… More like St. SUCKS!!

Just snagged the latest Metallica album from the newsgroups. Listened to random 30 second intervals of the whole album. And you know what? Metallica has lost their magic – and replaced it with home cooked speed.Most of the tracks sound like one another. Hell, I’ve heard high school bands that sound hundred times better.

Imagine this if you will: a successful (and highly political and vocal) band, with laurels up to ying-yang, putting out an album that sucks soo bad that it would beat any vacuum cleaner in a carpet cleaning competition. In my opinion, this puppy would rip out the nails holding your subfloor to the joists.

I’m not saying that they’ve lost their touch. I think they decided to look for a new market. I-will-listen-to-anything-fast-and-loud crowd and I-can-play-this-on-meth gang will adore this album. It was like listening to general dentistry before novocaine! An album only Hardcode Metallica fans could love – if they got it as a promo, or downloaded it from the internet.

I’d put a star rating beside the CD, but I’m afraid that it’ll get sucked into the fecal mater singularity that this album is.

STAY AWAY FROM THIS ALBUM.

No, really.
Posted by vlad on Friday, June 13, 2003, at 12:21 pm. Filed under Caustic? ME??. Follow any responses to this post with its comments RSS feed. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.

{ 11 } Comments

  1. Shaun | June 13, 2003 at 5:47 pm | Permalink

    You found out NOW that Metallica sucks? WOAH where the hell have you been? WAKE UP. Metallica has always sucked. Since when is loud yelling into a mic considered MUSIC? Like come on.

    It’s no surprise to me this album sucks, because the first 6, 7, 8 who knows how many albums they have cause there all C-R-A-P. I’ve heard Cliff sing better at Kareoke then Lars or that big oaf whatever his name is.

    So yeah like Vlad said STAY AWAY FROM THIS ALBUM, hell stay away from this band all together. I’m sick and tired of hearing these fuckers complain about Napster this, You owe us $$$ that, Pirated Music this. You’ve got enough money from your other albums (Don’t ask me how!) so SHUT IT. Music pirates will always be here, and you will not stop us. Hell I think i’ll download your album a few times just for the fuck of it so you can complain some more.

    SUCK IT BITCHES!

  2. vlad | June 13, 2003 at 6:00 pm | Permalink

    I liked their “black” album.

    Rocks out

    “Exiiiit liiigghhht, eeenteerr Niiiggghhtt, take my haaandd…

    Of to never never land!”

  3. Shaun | June 13, 2003 at 6:03 pm | Permalink

    they still suck!

  4. Anonymous | November 6, 2003 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    You people are illiterate asses that don\’t know shit about anything. You come on sites like this and bash people behind their backs. You know jack-shit about \"music\". Spend your time getting an education or maybe even cleaning out your trailers.

  5. Chad | November 6, 2003 at 5:22 pm | Permalink

    Yeah, no kidding!

    I think YOU guys suck because Metallica totally ROXORS!!! My favourite band member is that guy that plays that thing with the strings. He’s cool. Oh yeah, he jumps around and sings stuff too.

    You know, their best song is that one about the guy that has cocaine for breakfast. That rocks! It totally reminds me of my mom! I think they should do another song like that. Maybe about some ex-shriners who take heroin… THROUGH THEIR EYES!!! Then they could play really loud, like, duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuhHHHH DUN DUN DUN!!! Meedley-meedley-meedley-meedley-meedley-meedley-meedley-meedley-meedley-meedley-MEEEEEEEE! Yeah, yeah! And then that other guy can come in with that other instrument with less strings than the other one and he can be like, dow-dou-da-dow-da-da-DOW-da-da-dou-dou!!! That would be so freakin sweet! Damn!

    So yeah. Metallica, like, totally rocks, and you guys are big doodie heads. =P

  6. vlad | November 7, 2003 at 8:18 am | Permalink

    Dear Anonimous,

    Since you were quite inconsiderate and did not leave your name, I can assume that you do not believe in standing behind your opinions. Due to that, I’m going to give you a name: Jimmy ‘B-Rabbit’ Smith, Jr.

    Dear Rabbit,

    My post stands with my name and contact info, with comments enabled for others to post their opinions.

    I am quite impressed that your argument is not based on the discussion of the album, or substantiated by any means. Ad hominem attacks work in the minds of simple people that cannot form their arguments.

    I will respect your opinion, even though I do not agree with it. Please enlighten me – Why do you like the album? Is this album better than any other of theirs? In my opinion, it pales in comparison to the Black album. Come on, let’s hear some substance.

    Personally, I did listen to the whole album and decided I didn’t like it. Aparently neither did their bassist, who decided to LEAVE just before (or it could be after – I forget) the album was released. On the other hand that doesn’t have to mean anything.

    As for the random insults you’ve left I have just one thing to say: it is quite impressive that you can use a thesaurus. You must be working on your degree.

    We all know it’s hard trying to make a life at 8 mile.

    Vlad

  7. Chad | November 7, 2003 at 9:30 am | Permalink

    Seriously though. I DO like Metallica (even after they got me banned from Napster), and I do like their music. I honestly haven’t listened to their new album and that’s just out of pure lazines (or maybe apathy?). Anyway, Vlad and Shaun are entitled to their oppinions, as is Anonymous guy, there’s just no reason to get all nasty about it. If Vlad thinks that St. Anger sucks, that’s fine. If Anonymous guy thinks that Shaun is an inbred-trailerpark-jackoff-moron, well, I guess that’s ok too.

    But don’t get me wrong, just because I like Metallica, that doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate people taking them down a peg or two. And that doesn’t mean that I can’t laugh at things like this.

    P.S. – Hey Shaun, you might want to take it easy on the whole Pirated Music thing. I mean, I honestly feel bad for James and Lars. Could YOU live off of handfuls of dust washed down with nothing but Dave Mustaine’s stagnant piss???

    Yeah, that’s what I thought! Dave’s piss… BAD!

  8. dean | November 10, 2003 at 12:55 am | Permalink

    Wow, I created an account just to respond to this. Whowouldathunkit, especially since I\’ve never been a huge fan of Metallica. Especially that Enter Sandman crap. If they were trying to put me to sleep with that song, it worked.

    But you know what? The first time I heard the first single, I rocked out. Actually, I was watching it on MuchMusic, so I kinda moved my ass on my couch a little. But you get the idea. Then I heard it again later that night, and it still rocked.

    And then my friend showed me the DVD that comes with the CD. It\’s a video of them practicing in their studio (complete with a hanging And Justice For All head in the background). You know what? I like them more now than I ever did. Granted, that never was that much. Granted, I hate little pussy Lars, but it\’s awesome to see him back there on the double-kick bass drum. These forty-year-olders that are doing a lot more music-wise than anal-leakage bands like Nickelback or Creed.

  9. Anonymous | March 19, 2004 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    Metallica DOES suck..they have for quite a long time….if you like them…you probably are a fan of Korn and the Backstreet Boys as well…as for talking about a band behind there backs……I would say it to there lying media whore dicksucking faces. They are a disgrace to the genre of metal and betrayers to the dans that helped launch their faggoty assed careers.

  10. Anonymous | May 22, 2004 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

    they have never sucked you need to trully love the band to ever appritiate their tallent. They are at the point know that they will play whatever they feel and if you are not a fan of it then don\’t listen to them.They have their reputation and plentey of $$$
    to keep them going. They are happy with themselves as a band and how much they have achieved than what people \"expect \" to hear from them.
    Yours Trully: MATTallica !!!

  11. Klif | October 27, 2005 at 4:09 pm | Permalink

    Well, if they would be considerate enough to give me a call or something, I\’d tell them to their face \"Hey, the new stuff blows dead goats!\" But they don\’t ever call. Goddamn Lars STILL owes me for that fuckin\’ Mochaccino. \"I\’ll get ya\’ back for it, man.\" Yeah, right. Man, I got played.

    So….uhhh….what the fuck happened to Black Eyed Peas? Their first 2 albums were good…socially conscious rap. And GOOD rapping, too. Their first one with the blond chick was decent…then they release this turdburgled load of refuse. I don\’t need to hear the whole thing to know it would drive me into uncontrollable fits of Hulk\’esque rage. \"Nonono…don\’t phunk with me…\" SHUT THE FUCK UP! Jesus. Go away. Did she steal their balls, is that it? Just suck the creative juices right out of them…along with other fluids, more than likely? How else did she get in to this group? She can\’t sing, can\’t rap, barely forms coherent sentences.

    And this is a rant over a group I don\’t even particularly CARE about for Chrissakes.