Analog Coast

I wake up, smug rain drumming on the window slowly comes into focus. I can hear droplets suck themselves into glass and slither downward. Gray intrudes from the window, drowning everything in a haze. Yet another coastal weekend suffocates the city.

Defiantly, I slide the window open and extend my middle finger to the skies. Enough of this crap! This calls for the old fashioned methods. I look back to the madness that had devastated the land and brought many friends together. It is time for yet another sacrifice in our lives. Crimson will flow to avenge this gruesome parody of a summer. The meticulous preparations begin. Honing of the blade. Ritualistic cleansing. Stockpiling. And in the moment of extinguishing of the fragile clear sunbeam for the day, I raise the spatula towards the heavens and scream on top of my lungs:

What do you WANT?!?! Blood?? A pound of Flesh??? You twisted succubus. You’ll have it, but it won’t be of me! Oh, no, my dear! The chickens and bovines will take the brunt of this one. You’ll have to chase me down some other time. This time – I’m controlling the heat. Damned be the steel shackling the city – we’re going to do an 80’s themed BBQ.

On July 26th, of the third year of the second millennium, you and your significant other (and if you want, bring another friend or two) are cordially invited to my house and back yard at 2219 133 Ave for burgers, hotdogs and best damn BBQ in the city. If you are wondering what 80’s themed BBQ requires from you, it is very simple – if nothing else, one article of fluorescent clothing. It is even better if you have a white sport jacket and peach shirt. It is all about Huge hair, Huge personalities, bad music and Humongous appetites. The festivities will begin at 6pm.

As usual, I will be providing burgers (both regular and vegetarian), hotdogs and buns for previously mentioned. I would like to know if you will be attending this BBQ so I can stock my freezer full of succulent beef for you to enjoy. If you would rather have something else than what’s on my list, please bring it along and let me know so I don’t overstock. Please bring your own drinks.

These are the items I will need from someone to bring:

• 3 bags of ice
• plastic beer cups (go for the large, sturdy ones)
• Montreal Steak Spice and Spicy Mesquite spices from Club House (sorry, I ran out)
• Bullseye Old Hickory BBQ sauce
• Potato salad (I think Catherine called dibs on this last time)
• Caesar salad (because everyone loves Caesar salad)

Let the festivities BEGIN!

Please use the “Add comment” button below to say what you’re bringing! Thanks