Week 7 was a much more successful week across the board. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that more games have been played and there’s a larger body of evidence on which to indict the crappy teams and elevate the good’uns.
Or maybe we got a lucky break.
Team Miasma surrounded everyone else, pulling the mists over our eyes and coming out on top with 11 wins.
SD@BUF – Buffalo. I really have nothing else to go on in this game but Buffalo’s at home.[Going by that, you picked the winner.]
PIT@CIN – Pittsburgh. Marvin Lewis should be on some sort of death watch about now. Every damn time I want to proclaim the Lions are the worst team in the league, the Bengals crap the bed.[The Lions and the Bengals… wow do they both ever suck.]
TEN@KC – Tennessee. I am honestly blown away by the Titans record, but I certainly can’t choose the utterly talentless Chiefs to hand them their first loss.[I wouldn’t say utterly talentless. Just mostly talentless. The way that Cary Elwes was mostly dead in The Princess Bride. And now they’re struggling to find a quarterback. Not that they had one before. HAW HAW HAW!]
BAL@MIA – Miami. Baltimore is to offensive success what France is to battlefield success in the last 200 years.[Hey, the Franco-Prussian war couldn’t have turned out too badly. There’s no Prussia but there IS a France.]
DAL@STL – Dallas. Haslett may have coaches up some bad Saints teams, but he also coached down some good Saints teams. Utterly mediocre coach, running an utterly mediocre team.[Haslett is the MAN! That’s all I got to say!]
SF@NYG – Giants. They’ll be ready to crush someone coming off that loss. Seeing how bad San Fran’s pass protection has been, O’Sullivan might be sacked 20 times in this game.[I don’t think it was that many but he did get knocked around some. Bring on Singletary! He’s the singletary man who could come in and save this flagging franchise. First black head coach in San Fran! WOO!]
MIN@CHI – Chicago. Orton beats Frerotte. Also, ‘Purple Jesus’ Peterson is the most overrated player of all time…Forte isn’t.[Purple Jesus makes me want to pee my pants. That’s funny. And what a god-awful game.]
NO@CAR – Carolina. I see a 27-24 type win in this one. Saints are solid, Panthers are better.[I think the Pants walked all over the ‘Aints, didn’t they?]
DET@HOU – Houston. If the Texans can’t beat the Lions, the need to be excommunicated from the NFL the day after.[They beat ’em, but it wasn’t pretty.]
IND@GB – Green Bay. Packers seem to FINALLY be cranking up their ground game, and the Colts run defense can’t do much more than just watch opposing backs run past them.[Stupid Peyton Manning.]
NYJ@OAK – Jets. I sense a really, really awful football game. Something like 13-10 with a total of 179 yards of offense.[HAH! Way off! it was 16-13. And Jones had a good day if nobody else did.]
CLE@WAS – Washington. Have the Browns hired a defense yet?[No. But they still held the Skins to 14 points. They still haven’t hired an offense either.]
SEA@TB – Tampa Bay. Seahawks are done. Bucs are scared their coach will devour their souls.[D-FENSE!]
DEN@NE – New England. I’m fairly confident I could put up 100 yards on the Broncos this year.[Did you see THAT pants-kicking coming, though?]
Team DEATH METAL tied for second place with a 10-4 record.
SD @ BUF: BUFFALO. I’m hesitant to make this pick, but I gots ta go with the home team. [Everyone likes the home team. That’s right. especially when they control the power.]
PIT @ CIN PITTSBURGH. Bengals bungle their way to another loss. This is my Death Metal Power Chord Lock of the Week.[On-key yet again, team death metal. Good job so far.]
TEN @ KC TENNESSE. I’m sold on the Titans. [Especially when the only other choice in the contest is a bona fide lemon.]
BAL @ MIA MIAMI. Better offence, and they’re playing at home. Over/Under on the number of times the announcers mention the wildcat formation? 14. [It was only run 5 times but I’m sure they mentioned the lack if nothing else.]
DAL @ STL DALLAS. Brad Johnson is good enough to lead the Cowboys to a victory over the helpless Rams.[Brad Johnson is not good enough to lead anyone to a victory over my son’s soccer team. BOO BRAD JOHNSON!]
SF @ NYG NEW YORK GIANTS. Superbowl champs at home. Dig it.[Dug, Doug.]
MIN @ CHI CHICAGO. The Vikings fall victim to the Kyle Orton attack.[Or the Chris Kluwe dismantling.]
NO @ CAR CAROLINA. Effective Cajun Quarterbacking all up in this.[Mon p’tit fou poutine! STEVE SMITH! JON STEWART!]
DET @ HOU HOUSTON. Not even the powers of Jesus can stand in the way of a Houston victory.[Jesus? Dave Krieg? Jake Plummer? I’m confused.]
IND @ GB GREEN BAY. I think this will be the game to watch this week. Green Bay wins a close, close game.[Stupid Peyton Manning.]
NYJ @ OAK NEW YORK JETS. Oh, those goofy RaiderZ. Sean’s team wins in a landslide.[Buried under what? Oh yeah.]
CLE @ WAS WASHINGTON. I’m stealing Liam’s comment b/c it is entirely accurate.Last week was a blip. For both teams.[Liam’s comment is all that is good.]
LVL @ TB TAMPA BAY. No Hasslebeck = no chance. Another Loserville loss, which, as we all know, brings me joy.[And me. Joy is important in this current economy.]
DEN @ NE DENVER. Just going with the gut on this one.[Going with the gut-punch on this one.]
Sharing second spot with Team Death Metal is team BisonWeb who remains the only team not to win a week yet.
SD @ BUF BUF I don’t really know what to expect from Buffalo on a consistency basis but it’s getting cold and Buffalo is at home.[Buffalo looks for real to me. They’re scary with Edwards in the game.]
PIT @ CIN PIT In general, I hate picking the away team but I don’t know what Cincinnati has at all. I have no faith that they could beat Pittsburgh.[Cincinnati’s contents are known to me now. It is tiger feces.]
TEN @ KC TEN The Inbred Children of Uranus will continue to dominate defensively and while I wish I could pick KC, my head overrules my heart on this one.[Maybe the Chiefs will bring in Daunte Culpepper now.]
BAL @ MIA MIA I don’t think Baltimore is better than Miami, so I have to take the home team.[When the chips are down and all is riding on one last toss of the dice, regardless of the result of the toss, things have gone horribly wrong.]
DAL @ STL DAL They lost last week and St. Loo won last week. St. Loo has Haslett. But I’m still picking the away team because they’re BETTER.[I still contend that the Cowboys have a better talent pool but I think they overlooked the Rams. I expect St. Loo to come back to earth next week.]
SF @ NYG NYG Home team, better team. Angry team. If Carr goes in, sink the season, fire the coach and wave goodbye to any good players.[Played like the better team. No Carr.]
MIN @ CHI CHI I don’t know who to take or what to believe but Minnesota BARELY beat what is possibly the worst team in the league last week.[And they keep finding ways to lose. Ugly, ugly game.]
NO @ CAR CAR I look for Carolina to bounce back against the Saints this week. Reggie Bush really scares me, though. He’s really good at getting touchdowns.[Reggie Bush isn’t scaring me so much for the next couple weeks.]
DET @ HOU HOU Two weeks in a row, looks like Houston is favoured.[TWO IN A ROW! (extend fist in celebration)]
IND @ GB IND Aaron Rodgers is looking like the real thing and the Colts seem to have injuries out the butt-hole but I am still going with the away team. Why? I don’t really know.[Butt-hole Peyton Manning!]
NYJ @ OAK NYJ I can’t stay away from the away teams this week. Kyle would be so proud.[This was one I should have seen coming.]
CLE @ WAS WAS Last week was a blip. For both teams.[>blip<]
SEA @ TB TB LOSERVILLE! HA![HA!]
DEN @ NE NE Rebound game? Dunno. I didn’t want to pick this game. Both teams make me sad.[Rebound game.]
Coming in fourth place, with a still very respectable 8-6 is Team Kraftverk. Pretty good considering you don’t know the players, I don’t think.
SD @ BUF : A sad buffalo is a dangerous buffalo. BUF[They charged the chargers and sapped the power.]
PIT @ CIN: Trapped deep in the pit of cin, I fear the PIT.[The pendulum swung their way this week.]
TEN @ KC: Everyone knows that ten inch kc is just a banana. Silly KC.[Just in KC (case) you weren’t paying attention, this game was rated a TEN.]
BAL @ MIA: bulimia isn’t good, but balamia is a BAL.[Mama-mia, bala-Mia.]
DAL @ STL: cowboys versus latte drinkers? I’ll take the decaf DAL.[The Latte provided much needed jolts of energy. Cowboys were roped in.]
SF @ NYG:Hulk smash, giant squash, NYG.[Hulk smashed and New York wished it would have been an away game.]
MIN @ CHI: I’ll chi-min (chime in) on this one in a MIN.[Shouldn’t have been so CHI.]
NO @ CAR: no car, no credit, no problem! nobody will be refused! You get CAR good time![warranty love you long time!]
DET @ HOU: House debt? That’s a different problem, a DET problem.[DET is the problem. HOU’s gonna win?]
IND @ GB: The G8 has the financial fix, trust the GB.[IN-D end, you were right.]
NYJ @ OAK: no joke, haha, ny joak at all, seriously… seriously.. I’ll take OAK[The only one to pick the winner in this one. Well-done, sir.]
CLE @ WAS: Looking at the clues (clewas)that WAS awesome.[if only you would have been able to CLEWAS (clue us) all in earlier…]
SEA @ TB: See a tub, take a bath, a bloodbath for the SEA.[Bloodbath was right, the outcome was wrong.]
DEN @ NE: no retarded egg will beat sweet, innocent Denney any more, run DEN, run![DENNY versus N-E was like a retard playing by himself against a professional football team, that’s for sure.]
That’s it. Schedule for next week should be up soon.
Until more later on!