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The Trouble With Being a Geeky Fan

Letting go of attachments

I don’t know how TV networks can justify to themselves this four or five month hiatus between episodes, in the same season of a series.

Yes, I’m probably wearing my old-man pants, shaking my cane-wielding fist to the sky. I’m probably the only one who sees something horribly wrong with this. But hey, this is my place.

FlashForward, you and I are quits. Everything that made the show compelling in the first place – the opportunity for water cooler talk, the speculation – that’s all gone. All I can remember is the horrible, horrible acting of Joseph Fiennes. Maybe when he acts in British, he’s okay, but I can’t get past his two looks: Grumpy and Dopey. Maybe the bar was set too high by Lost for me to enjoy you properly, but why can’t I expect a show that started out that strongly to remain that strong? I certainly have no qualms about saying goodbye to you, since you haven’t been on the air in two or three months.

V, I’m very disappointed in you. You wave Alan Tudyk under my nose, with the promise of reviving one of my favourite series from the 80s. Then you not only make him a bad guy, but you kill him off right away. I don’t mind any of the actors, or the characters. The pacing was all right, tending a little to the slow side of things. But you aren’t on the air right now, are you? You’re screwing around with your agenda, trying to squeeze the last little bit of market share. You’re doing this for all the wrong reasons. You’re not there to entertain people, you’re not even there to sell soap. You’re there to entice people to sell soap with numbers that are completely artificial. This is the same bullshit that got Kings canceled. Don’t think I don’t have my eye on you, ABC.

Glee, I don’t really care. I watched a couple of your episodes. But my wife is very much looking forward to you coming back. And you’re gone almost until summer. What the hell is that?

All of this is pretty much leading toward me not watching any more new dramas until they are out on DVD.

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I am your fire, I am your heartbeat,
I am the life in your breath.

- Rumi

Hit Me Baby, One More Time

In a matter of hours, days or weeks Erron and I will welcome into our family another baby.  Our family of five will become six.  Four little ones at home, outnumbered by a factor of two when we are both home, and possibly a 4:1 onslaught when it comes time for one of us to take all the kids to get groceries or some other trip out of the house.  Wow…  this is a different place than I imagined myself 10 yeas ago.  When I was imagining a family in my youth I figured there would be 2 kids, one always seemed wrong, like having one child with no siblings wasn’t giving them what they needed, the ability to be a brother or sister.  So it was 2 that I imagined, because really, who has the time or energy or need for more?  How naive I was, when Katie left our lives there was such a hole left in my heart that the hope for our family became not a house of one or two kids, but many.  I find that my family is the most fulfilling thing in my life.  If I won the lottery (if I played the lottery) I would like nothing better than to stay home with Erron and the kids.  Some people couldn’t imagine such a thing, they would need some job, some thing, to take them away and give them space, but not me.  There is such joy in playing with the kids, in helping them draw, play a game, read a story.  Yes, there is strife when kids are sassy, uncooperative, selfish, moody… the list goes on.  But every moment is useful, helping the kids find who they are and mold who they will become can only happen when forces are in opposition, when they learn that thinking for themselves is an essential life skill, just like learning that they need to cooperate and share and be polite.

New baby, how I look forward to your arrival.  I haven’t had the time to anticipate you the way I did with Elijah and Petra, or with Natalia.  Work keeps me busy, the kids keep me busy, the house keep me busy, and I am not so sure of where the time you need will come from, but I know it is there.  I will find time and make time for you, just as I have for your brother and sisters.  As much as I may be unhappy about it when the time comes, I do look forward to swaddling you around at 2 AM to help you fall asleep, because it will be a time for just you and I when the rest of the world melts away.

Come soon, little one, I can’t wait to meet you.


Why My Mom Could’ve Taken Chuck Norris

People like to pretend that Chuck Norris is the toughest, baddest so-and-so ever to grace the Earth. While he is definitely badass, and it’s fun to recite the list of so-called Chuck Norris facts, the bearded spin-kicker comes in a very distant second when it comes to out-and-out toughness. To whom, you ask? Why, my mom, of course.

Special Move: Chuck Norris, of course, has his roundhouse kick. This is, of course, a formidable weapon. The unkempt, the unshaven, the seedy, and the cheesy, many have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris’s right foot. This is nothing in comparison to the Peggy Johnstone death-glare. Nobody was safe. For saint or sinner, fear of the death-glare was the fear of divine retribution. While Chuck Norris may break more panes of glass, Peggy Johnstone broke more souls.

Cool Beard: The edge goes to Chuck Norris here, since I’ve never seen my mom wear a beard. I guess it was a lifestyle choice.

Legendary Stories: “Before he goes to sleep at night, the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.” “Peggy Johnstone once shunned hospital care for a suspected stroke, saying it was ‘Just a small one’.” More awesome AND true!

Sacrifice for Ideals: Chuck Norris, starring as Colonel James Braddock once sacrificed his own well-being for belief in truth. Peggy Johnstone once sacrificed a life of musical study to raise a family. The edge might go to Chuck Norris if those things hadn’t happened to a movie character, but they did.

Pain Tolerance: Chuck Norris’s characters have been dragged over the coals, and I feel for them, if not him. Mom took everything MS had and kicked its ass. Did she suffer? Yes. Did she ask for help? Yes. But if you think that takes anything away from it, you’ve obviously never suffered any amount of pain and have watched too many Rambo movies.

So you see, it isn’t even close. My prediction is this: In some strange world where Chuck Norris and Mom were to fight, the Karate Commando would take one look at Mrs. Johnstone whose blue eyes would cut you apart, weigh you, measure you and have an itemized list of your sins in an instant. He would look, his soul would unravel, and Mom would emerge victorious.

Disclaimer: The above is in no way intended to disparage the amazing acting career of Chuck Norris. Neither is it a desire for an alternate dimension where Chuck Norris and my mother are pressed into single combat. However, were that to happen, Mr. Norris, please rest in peace.

Freeing Up My Personal Time

Last month, I was at the end of my rope. I was spending my workday working, the sliver after work and before the kids’ bedtime trying not to think about work, then after the kids were in bed working on another project. I was not being the husband, the father, the homeowner, or the dog owner I wanted to be.

I’d put off certain things as long as possible. My dishwasher was broken, things were piling up, and I had to make a decision. So, I made it. The only thing that could be cut out from my life was the work I was doing that wasn’t paying me any money.

I felt bad about leaving the team. They’re working hard and doing a good job on a project I think has real wheels. I also really enjoyed the work.

I feel like I’m catching back up with life, finally. The kids and I have been under the weather, so I might have a little more catching up to do, but I went back to playing ball hockey in the morning. I am (obviously) getting to spend a little time writing blog entries. Kim and I are spending more time together in the evenings after the children are tucked away in bed, and I have gotten back into practicing the guitar.

Actually, the last couple of nights, I have been working on exercises from A Modern Method for Guitar while Kim and I catch up on Lost.

I’m guessing I’ll have more to write about guitar in the coming weeks, as I manage to get my fingers working with my brain which I have to teach to work with my eyes when it comes to reading music. The reading music is coming back faster than I thought it would.

So, while I will miss working with the team from California on the project about which I’m never sure how much I’m allowed to say, I feel that the spare time I’ve gained has allowed me to grow into a more well-rounded person, a better father, husband, homeowner and dog owner. As well as guitar owner. They were feeling sadly neglected.

So I got them some company.

Say Hello to the guy in the middle.

Say Hello to the guy in the middle.

Until I have more to say,

Liam

More to follow

10 Life is Good
20 Life is Bad
30 Goto 10

A Picture in Time (or… how I spent my summer vacation)

In lieu of a month-by-month year in review for 2009, I’ve decided to capture memories that strike me from that period. I can’t say that this won’t be the only one of these, but if more memories come up and kick me, I’ll write ‘em down and put them up here. –lj

“They’ve decided not to renew your contract.”

Usually, the end of a job is a bittersweet scene. I have an exceptionally hard time saying goodbye, and an even harder time keeping in touch. Keeping in touch usually just prolongs the agony of parting. With only two exceptions, leaving a job has been more bitter than sweet. The first of these was Intuit, where everyone was already gone and the lack of meaning was the primary reason I left. The second was Accenture.

I will admit, my time at Accenture was not perfect. I could couch that with excuses, maybe even reasons, but I won’t. What I will say is that throughout the last three weeks of my stay there, I worked my ass off in the neighbourhood of sixty hours a week, trying to squeeze a project out the door.

I was not sad to leave. However, with those last weeks being what they were, I felt oddly disconnected and the momentum kind of carried me out of a regular sleeping pattern. Fortunately, having children and a very pregnant wife forced me back to the “day is day and night is night” pattern.

I spent the next couple of weeks playing with Lily. Nick was largely gone during the day, playing at the green shack with summer vacation kids. I would walk around the block with Lily on her bike. I would ride Kim’s bike, with Lily on the back. Those were great days. I felt free. I’d saved up enough that I could look for work at a less hectic pace than I had at the end of Haemonetics: Part One.
Work, however, was not there to be found. The economy had shriveled up into a hard, angry little pea and businesses were holding on to that pea as hard as they could. Two companies for whom I would have been a good fit left me hanging because they could not get budget approval, after having posted the jobs. Fortunately, my Project Manager at Intuit came through for me. He and his partner were looking for programmers to work on a Ruby on Rails project. I had no experience in Ruby, but apparently, that was not required. So, four of us set off on a learning experience, picking up Rails conventions while we wrote a web app for a bronze company.

The summer flew by, with a few exceptions. Olivia came into our lives, hollering and shivering, on July 21, at a quarter to two in the morning. Aside from the obvious, that time is memorable for the time Kim and I spent out on the deck, appreciating a warm summer night. Also for songs on the record player, falling asleep on the kitchen floor between Kim’s contractions, and hauling water.

I swear, I would have made a good farmer back in the day. I haul water really well. (Get it? Well? Water? Heh.)

As summer faded into fall, work on the bronze project wrapped up and I continued my quest for more employment.