So the other night while putting the animals to bed I am trying to get the lights on in the coop and go to inspect the cord as it runs from the quonset.  Dash and I go in, I flip on the one lightbulb to illuminate the basketball court sized area and a couple of the pigeons start to flap around.  They go back and forth from one end to the next and when one tries to perch on the back wall where it is quite dim it fails and flap-falls to the ground.  Dash, somewhat spurred by my dislike of the pigeons, jumps on it and gives it a shake.  A couple shakes later that pigeon is no longer a crap factory, just another piece of garbage for me to clean up.  The next night Dash and I managed to get 2 more, and last night we got (possibly) the last one.  The quonset might now be pigeon free, meaning the crap pile at the entryway may no longer continue to grow, this make me happy.  Last night the pigeon Dash killed was dragged out into the night while I was unloading the car so I didn’t get a chance to dispose of it.  This morning, when I let Dash out/in he came back a bit muddy.  Later, when I made my way out there was the head of the pigeon on the front steps, and later still a rather muddy pigeon body appeared by my car for me to dump in the trash.

I think he is trying to give me a message: Dash really hates pigeons.

Elijah got in to see the specialist early, really early.   So thanks for prayers and well wishes sent out int the universe.  I’m really excited to have a guide to help us through all of the biomedical treatments that we’re sort of shuffling through on our own.  While I’m relived to some how have jumped the line.  In the end it’s not going to be like getting anitibiotics for an infection.  His autism is not going to ‘clear’ up.  I wonder is it going to be like this forever? Will Elijah have meaningful employment? Friends? Go to college? Fall in love? Get married?

Today while sitting while Petra did ballet class with a few of the moms I knew from P’s last class.  I was asked if the littles were in Kindergarten this year.  I said no and also for the first time mentioned that Eli has Autism, and that we felt he would benefit from home school.  This lead to them to ask all sorts of questions.  About cause, vaccinations ect.  Controversial stuff, and also some general, well, how bad is it for him type questions. I don’t mind them wanting to know, I just was a little unsure about how much I wanted to share about my beliefs about cause, and about Elijah himself.

And on the subject of Petra’s ballet. She was picked for the competitive class. We’re proud of her.  Now she’s just 5, so I thought it was a class for the girls who were good and they taught competitive dance to get them ready for competition next year.  I guess, like  the A string of dancers.  I struggled with putting her in this class, but she wanted to so we signed her up.  It’s a combo class, so we had to buy tap dancing shoes and new ballet slippers since her feet grew.  Not just any kind specific shoes, and they don’t come from Payless.  And today I found out she does indeed dance in two competitions one in Moosejaw and one in Calgary, so hotels and travel costs and competition shoes.  uggg.  She was so excited today though, she loved tap dancing, and she gets to dance Cinderella in ballet class.  Now she was told that a few girls who work really hard will get principal roles.  Yikes, now as grown- ups we know that’s not exactly the way it works.  She could work her tail off, and still not measure up.  I’m okay with that, and somehow I want her to be balanced enough to be okay with it too.  Since it a 5-6 year old class likely the older girls are going to get the roles.  I’m worried she going to be heartbroken when she doesn’t get to be Cinderella, even though she tried really hard.  I’m also worried she might get a principal roll and she’ll be under all kinds of pressure to help win a competition.  Man, maybe I should have said no to the competitive class I’m a wreck about it.

And Lastly,Kyles first class of the year was today.  Summer is over and he’s back to needing to be at work and I’m back to being the stay at home parent.  Time to start using Google calender again.  Our weeks are busy and I need to schedule around work schedules, and dance classes, and swim classes, and therapy appointments.  These are the days of lighting weeks and slow days .

Day 1 – Chest and Back

Pushups and pull ups.  I was using honey jars for weights, since I didn’t actually own any, other than Kim’s small guys.  I have since remedied this situation.  I felt good doing this one, felt like throwing up after, but it was okay.

Day 2 – Plyometrics

Jumping and twisting.  I felt like, in the first squat-thrust, that I pulled my hamstring, but as I worked through the video, it eased into it.  Probably just a case of doing too much too fast.  They have their warm-up routine, and I do that one, but I should probably make sure that I’m warm before actually starting.  Felt like throwing up after, again.

Day 3 – Arms and shoulders

Weights.  I felt good all the way through this routine.  Yes, my arms were tired, yes they were sore, but this was probably the routine I have felt the most comfortable with.  My arms were on fire the next day, for sure.

Day 4 – Yoga X

Plank and bend.  I missed this on the day it was supposed to happen.  It was a Saturday, and I had initially planned to do it during the day, but that got interrupted, and never got restarted.  So I did it the Sunday instead.  So, now, I’m a day behind.  I liked this one.  It was really hard, especially toward the end of the plank stuff, and some of the balancing with one hand in the air, bent over on one foot.

Day 5 – Legs and back

Lunge, kick, pull up.  I did this one last night.  My legs feel fine today, but they were burning last night.  Shaky, very shaky.

Day 6 – Kempo

If I’d managed to keep up with the schedule (see Yoga X) I would have done this last night.  As it is, I will get into it tonight, and hope that it doesn’t kill me.

Day 7 – Stretching X

Having seen the pretzel that Yoga X made of me, an entire day devoted to stretching should be something to experience.

I’m not sure what the schedule holds after that, but I’m well on my way, and, if I’m in the worst part of it, I should be able to make it all 90 (now 91) days.

But before you feel to badly for me -you were feeling badly about my lost present idea right?- look what I had for dinner tonight.

So last night we seasoned our smoker and spent some time deciding what we would try first? Fish? Pork chops? Someone said smoked hamburgers are good.  We had a pork tenderloin in our fridge waiting to be cut up and packaged into meal sized portions, in our second fridge, so since it was already, not frozen, we thought we’d do pork.  Kyle found a recipe for butterflied pork with dried fruit stuffing (prunes, pears and apricots) soaked in wine (also homemade) and thyme (well rosemary, but I substituted because I hate rosemary). Heading Tim Browns advice that things generally take longer that specified we set the timer and temperature for the high end of the recommendations, it came out dryish, but hey it was our first time.  So I made an apricot and date compote to go over it, with the pan drippings. We served it with home grown fried organic fingerling potatoes, and organic corn kernels.  The verdict, very, very good.  The improvements for next time – reduced cooking time and add some bread to the stuffing, as I found it too sweet, but for a first time I would say-  Success

It looks like a bar fridge.

Look at all that room imagine the things we can smoke all at once.  We put the roast on the rack closest to the drip tray.

We couldn’t decide what type of wood chips to use, we have Apple, Mesquite and Maple, you could mix if you wanted, but we thought it best to try one at a time to learn about the flavors before mixing.  These are Apple Wood.

Insert the wood chips

Set the the Temperature and the Timer (8hours,190f this time)

Wait until the time has elapsed and insert a meat thermometer.  Looking good right?  I wish you could smell this, a smoker smells like delicious.

Slice to serve to serve to your family.

ENJOY!

Thanks for reading, I look forward to having you back again soon.

PS: I think I get extra awesome points^TM for currently having the top Google search result for soylent delorean.  Just think of all the extra traffic those 2 everyday words will bring to my blog!

Elijah has Autism, and one of the main diagnostic criteria of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder),  is developmental delay.  While he may be at a 5 year level in some respects, he can be at a 2 year old level in others.  Think about a two year old…they hit, tantrum, and bite.  It’s normal at that age, in fact it can be considered an cognitive advancement they are starting to realize that the have their own desires, and that by acting out they can sometimes control, or manipulate a situation into his or her favor.  It’s also pretty easy to control a two year old, and they can’t really push around kids bigger than them, not so with our big for his age, strong for his frame 5 year old.

Elijah also has impulse control issues, he does things without thinking about consequences a lot.  So when we noticed he was hitting and biting often, when he was frustrated, we tried a myriad of responses.  From quiet correction, full out yelling, time outs, and at it’s climax, when he was tossing Petra around in the pig pen and hitting the pigs with a stick, he got a spanking.  Probably the least likely way to get Elijah to stop hitting when he felt frustrated, I’m sure you see it:  Parent gets so frustrated they hit son for getting so frustrated he hit daughter.  Spanking is a parent impulse control problem.

This was the incident that lead us to talk to a psychologist (a friend of mine), a doctor who wouldn’t give us a referral, a doctor who would, a friend with a son also on the spectrum, a compounding pharmacist who is incredibly knowledgeable about ASD and the variety of treatments there are, a program administrator, and Elijah’s occupational therapist.

You see we’re interested in seeing a biomedical specialist here in town, so our first step was to get a doctor to write us a referral, so we tell our story to the first guys and he says no, we tell our story to a second guy he says yes, we tell the pharmacist, so she can collaborate with the family doctor who said yes, but isn’t familiar with biomedical treatments for patients on the spectrum,we tell our story to the therapist to get his input on therapeutic sessions that will curb the behavior, we tell the story to two friends to get their input, we tell a program administrator the story to get him into The Alivin Buckwald Center (an Autism clinic) here in town, and Kyle and I spent most evenings talking about it and what we think our best options are.

The absolutely emotionally soul sucking problem with having to do all of this talking, is that we don’t get to talk about Elijah, we talk about the problem behavior, over and over and over.  Do you have any idea how how incredibly sad it made me to only talk about Elijah in the worst possible light for over a week, and then find out that we’re not likely to see the specialist for any type biomedical help for over a year, and that the behavioral help from the Alvin Buckwald center is likely a 7 or 8 month wait? Very, VERY, sad.

Our occupational therapist was of great help, and since we’re already with him he can start to implement some things right away, but we also spoke with him about starting another type of therapy called RDI (Relationship Development Intervention Program) which helps spectrum kids learn the skills for dynamic thinking and interacting, giving them the tools they need for friendship , teamwork, employability, and independent living. I think it would be a valuable tool, but I must read through the book about it, before we can commit to starting a program that requires intensive parent involvement from a mom who’s already worn thin on time.  God, finding time to read the book is hard (you may have noticed a few skipped blog posts this last week or two) let alone realistically adding one more ‘to do’ in my day, and tape it, and submit it for review.  And the book is not easy reading either it talks about specific brain functions, deficits, and the difference each cerebral area plays in static and dynamic thinking. Oh, and did I mention how much of the cost of this therapy is covered by the province? 0%, even though it would save the government thousands (millions?) in assisted living, and make work costs in the future.  So you know, it should totally be cheap. ugg.

I’m also about to start calling the specialist’s office and start throwing Kyle’s name around, and the fact that he works for the department of medicine at the University to see if that has any pull.  Basically I need to say, hey were already on the road with biomedical, and my husbands a smart guy who can read a medical review paper, so you wont have to start at square one with us.  I hate games like this I’d rather not play them, it should be equal opportunity for everyone, and the wait should never be a year, think about the possibility of treatment within a year vs. none!  And I hate being pushy, or worse shot down.

So there it is out in the world. Elijah can be mean, were working on it.  Thanks to divine mercy, things this week on the the Elijah behavior front is really good, it can almost feel as though I might have made it all up, but now that we’re moving forward (slowly) there’s no moving back, and no stalling.

Barely keeping it together. First workout in a long time. So weak. Ah, well. The journey of a thousand steps and all that… #dontpukeplease

But you know what I’m talking about, right? That dreaded second day. You wake up, and everything you worked the day before is weak, stiff, sad, angry, all these emotions, and that’s just coming from my back and chest. I’m looking forward to tonight’s workout, but I’m also kinda dreading it. It doesn’t help that I have no idea what tonight is going to look like.
I don’t think I can get back up on that chinup bar, and I collapsed laughing on the ground trying to do my last set of diamond pushups, so the idea of getting right back into that tonight is just ridiculous. I went down to start, and even though I pushed up, I kept going down. My chest thumped against my fingers and I had to laugh. I guess that’s working to failure. Ah well, I still managed to do some dive-bomber pushups before it was all over.
I haven’t been able to track down an affordable dumbbell set, so I used jars of honey for that purpose last night. It wasn’t enough weight. It helps that I knew it wouldn’t be enough weight, but I do need to get a weight set.
The self-defeatist in me would like to know why this workout regimen is going to work when I haven’t been exactly stellar at keeping with things like this in the past. I would tell that niggling little voice that this is going to work because I understand the price that has to be paid, and I understand what I will gain from it.
No, not the girlish figure. Though, it will be nice to see those results as well.
I have had back pain since I was a teenager. My knees make this celery noise when I go up the stairs (or when I straighten my knees, apparently). I can maintain a reasonably high level of activity for awhile before I get too tired, and I can usually do okay when I play ball hockey, but I want to do more than just that. I want to still be running at the end of the night. I want to be able to help someone move and not spend the next three days wishing I were dead. I want to mitigate the risks for diabetes. And, honestly, I want to push through this mental barrier that I have. I am so scared to push beyond my comfort zone, to see what I can really do if I’m motivated enough, if it’s actually required of me. Can I make it through the 90 days of fitness hell? I think so. Now I just need to know so, and everything will be well.
This isn’t going to become the ULTIMATE BODY-SCULPTING blog or anything, but I will keep it posted with my progress, my regressions, my victories, my pains.
So, here’s some starting information: Body weight: 244.5 pounds
I figure I can lose 50 pounds from that and be healthy. I’m not a small guy, so my goal weight couldn’t (and shouldn’t) be something like 170 pounds or anything like that, but I have enough junk in various areas of my body so that 195 pounds shouldn’t be an unreasonable goal. I’m not saying that will be the goal for the end of this challenge. I wouldn’t even know what to expect out of this challenge. To quote Mr. T, from Rocky III: “My prediction? Pain.”
So, that’s it. Another Summer Blog Challenge is in the books. This is my first completed one, but hopefully it won’t be the last. And hopefully I won’t hesitate to sign up (or even start it up) next year.
I do hope to keep my blog updated more than it has been in the past, though a post per day doesn’t seem like something I’ll be maintaining.
Until more later on,

Liam

Today, I started that fitness regime in earnest.

Holy cow.

Chest and back, eh? I imagine that a lot more than that will hurt tomorrow. In fact, I might not be able to push myself up out of bed. Push ups and pull ups, and flies, complemented by stretching, warming up, cooling down, and a testosterone-laced host who could probably run through a brick wall.

Last year, I tried a kettle-bell workout that I saw online and gave up after the first workout because it hurt too much.

What has changed since then? Mindset. I will not stop. this workout is 90 days, and I will see it through to the end.

See? That’s me being accountable. Accountable old Liam, that’s me.

Now, if I can get up for work in the morning, everything will be perfect.

Liam